On the first day of the winter quarter of college freshman, I was walking out of class towards the library when a lady walked up to me, we chatted a little, and I instantly liked her. After some babbling about my favorite musicals, she told me she is part of a bible study group on campus; I jumped at the chance and immediately had a bible study with her.
The Start of A Trial
The first two days with the group were great; I learned a lot, I enjoyed their
worship, snacks, and company. Soon, however, they started to become
manipulative and cult-like. On the surface, their teaching was not wrong, it
is true many people consider themselves Christians, but few are true
disciples; that was the first thing I learned from them, and I agree 100%.
However, despite their surface message being true, they taught that a disciple
must do certain things, such as spreading the gospel and baptizing people. If
any of these is not done, one cannot be counted as a disciple and therefore
cannot go to heaven. In other words, they believe salvation is not by faith
alone in Christ alone but by faith + works. The group made me fearful to the
point, it triggered my fourth anxiety episode; this is the first time my
anxiety was caused directly by other people rather than my thoughts. As they
told me I was not truly saved, I doubted my salvation.
The Trial Continues
After I left the group, I continued to struggle with my faith; every day, I
would look up answers online that often ended in fear and worry. During this
time, I would share much of what I read to my parents, my step-father would
talk to me, help me understand the bible, and tell me whether or not the
article I read was reliable, but the next day, the cycle of crazy research
repeats. Every day was a spiral of online digging. The price that came with it
was not only my anxiety but also my focus for school; instead of completing
assignments, I would be surfing online for answers only the Lord could
provide.
Light After The Tunnel
Despite trials and tribulations, I began to know more about the Lord and His words; I started to lean on Him instead of my own understanding. I started reading the scripture and taking it seriously. I also became more aware of the Lord’s presence and His love. If there’s one thing the cult group did right, it’s they encouraged me to start reading the bible, and through them, God fulfilled His greater good to bring me closer to Him. Would I want to go back to the cult and go through everything again? Absolutely not. But did everything happen for a good reason? Absolutely yes. Sometimes the Lord allows certain things to happen to fulfill His greater good. Looking back at that experience and how far I’ve gone since then, all I can say is thank you, Father.
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